He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
