There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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