Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
