I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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