I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
