the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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