just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
