I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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