She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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