Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
