why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
