Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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