Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
