We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
