Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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