this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
