so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
