They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
