Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
