Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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