I need help removing her.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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