she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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