I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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