Umm I'm too high to move.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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