So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
