i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
