i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
