"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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