i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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