I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
