.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
