i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
