I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
