He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
