We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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