At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
