She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
