how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
