I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
