I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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