id be glad to
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
