so explain again why im purple
no
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
