And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
