I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
