BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
