How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
