shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
