I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't want my vagina anymore.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
