"it" just moved
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
