I cannot find my penis.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
4 words: hood of his car
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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