so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
